We often talk about listening versus hearing. You can talk all you want and I can look at you blankly and listen to your words, but I need to really concentrate to hear you, to understand how your words and your tone are sending me a message. Listening intently and really hearing someone is a precious gift, as Mel says.
I often have a student in my office and I am, of course, looking at him or her... shaggy hair, lip ring, tattoo, no shortage of black eyeliner or Carhart jacket, grease under the fingernails, and teeth that look like they've seen Copenhagen recently... but depending on what the conversation is about, I start to really see the person.
There are times when looking and seeing go back and forth like opening and closing each eye in sequence and watching whatever is ahead jumping from side to side. Looking at someone is cursory, but really seeing him or her brings the person into the right focus...people don't always come into focus quickly, but instead dart around until they are there.... I can see the beautiful young woman who is trying out different costumes until she finally feels right in her own skin. I can see the young man who has a little mist in his eyes when he tells me he's so frustrated with school he sometimes wants to quit.
When I have a student in my office, sometimes I think of the articles I have read about the amount of face time patients get with doctors. As a classroom teacher, I had a hard time remembering to give students enough "wait time" as my mind is always moving forward to what is next. I need to remember to slow down and listen... and really SEE who is in front of me.
The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing. ~Publilius Syrus (circa 100 BC)
Monday, February 8, 2010
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3 comments:
weird ... i was going to write about this same thing tonight. i spend every waking moment with my kids - really. and today we were sitting at the table correcting a worksheet, and i looked up at my daughter, and i SAW her. I saw her freckles, and her eyelashes, and how her eyes crinkle when she laughs, and how she flicks her bangs out of her eyes, and how she's getting older and wiser. being with each other all the time doesn't necessarily mean that we SEE each other. i think to see someone, you have to get out of yourself and get away from all the crap in your mind. maybe we have to see them for who they are and not who we think they ought to be?
Do you know what I mean by sort of having those "fleeting" visions of what you SEE? I swear, sometimes they are so fleeting, I almost feel like I dreamed them...
P.S. I don't do drugs at work. :o)
i think that's called intuition.
and from what i've read on your blog, maybe you ought to be doing drugs at work. :o)
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